i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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