I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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