4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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