Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize