It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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