Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
now i know why i became what i already was.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize