At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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