it's too hot outside to masturbate.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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