one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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