the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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