When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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