You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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