fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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