remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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