Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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