What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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