I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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