this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize