tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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