dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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