he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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