yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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