he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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