my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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