dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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