YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize