If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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