Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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