I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize