Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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