I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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