I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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