You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize