you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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