i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We got so high we made milksteak
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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