jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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