I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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