One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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