I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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