i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize