Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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