Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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