Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize