May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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