Don't you send me to vm
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize