Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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