It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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