I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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