I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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