I intend to get homeless drunk
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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